{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12229735","dateCreated":"1242745784","smartDate":"May 19, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"fidan1993","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/fidan1993","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1235147613\/fidan1993-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12229735"},"dateDigested":1532767385,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"Good story,
\nalthough i would take out all the "you's"
\n
\n"you can learn from them because everything truly does happen for a reason. "
\n
\nyou are talking to the reader,
\ninstead you could use "one"","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12006677","dateCreated":"1242140265","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"mmcferran","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mmcferran","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12006677"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"This was very true. I wrote about a very similar topic and I truly do agree with the fact that everything does happen for a reason. One way or another we all have our own roads that are meant to be.Well Done!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12006207","dateCreated":"1242139728","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12006207"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"Very good job on writing this. It was very personal and I was really pulled into the story. There were quite a few grammatical and spelling errors though, so be sure to reread again. Also, the words "everything" and "life" are used quite often. Other then that, great job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12006197","dateCreated":"1242139718","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"wihbeyj","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/wihbeyj","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12006197"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"The story was very personal, which made it much better. Your point of view was very good. They were good goals to go by. You could use some more work on transitions. You kind of jump around from one topic to another. Try and get some sentences that link your ideas together.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12007715","body":"i completely agree. you made this story completely your own with your personal experiance. your story helped in enforcing what you believed in and made it that much more meaningful.","dateCreated":"1242141313","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"DrewGauvain","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/DrewGauvain","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237994231\/DrewGauvain-lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"12005033","dateCreated":"1242138780","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"etreb","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/etreb","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12005033"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"
\nPositive: I really enjoyed the point of views that this story possesed. It was also uniquely special to me because I to have a grandparent struggling with Cancer. I have not had anyone that was close to me die yet and you really opened my eyes to the emotions it can cause.
\n
\nNegative: I was not really clear on your actual belief. Although, you presented many different ones I was kind of confused on what it actually was.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"11904881","dateCreated":"1241796716","smartDate":"May 8, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"oliviah15","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/oliviah15","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222128529\/oliviah15-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/11904881"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I really enjoyed this story. i especially liked the last paragrpah and your reasoning behind it. THis was really good","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"11904667","dateCreated":"1241796443","smartDate":"May 8, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dsk23","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dsk23","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/11904667"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I like the personal touch of the story and how you left the adoption detail for last. That really ties what your trying to prove all together and leaves a surprise for the reader. I like the concept of what you believe but to make the "everything happens for a reason" and "live life to your fullest" more original and personal to your situation, try not to directly say it in those words. It will avoid feeling cliched.
\n
\nGreat job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"11901711","dateCreated":"1241793107","smartDate":"May 8, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/11901711"},"dateDigested":1532767386,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"your story was really personal which made it good. there were alot of grammitcal errors and you repeated the sames words a lot like "everything" and there were a few others too. also i noticed that
\n"I\u2019ve become a stronger person after everything that I\u2019ve been through the past two years of my life because rather than complaining and becoming upset, I\u2019ve taken it all in and realized that everything happens so that we can learn from our mistakes and discover who we really are."
\nis a really big run on sentence. so you might want to fix that and add some comma's in to help the whole story flow better.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"11902799","body":"i agree that making the story really personal helped to draw the reader in more. the errors mentioned can easily be fixed. i like your title too... its very true.","dateCreated":"1241794258","smartDate":"May 8, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"tylerjlhs","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/tylerjlhs","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"11901047","dateCreated":"1241792563","smartDate":"May 8, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"allie4522","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/allie4522","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237993324\/allie4522-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/11901047"},"dateDigested":1532767387,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comments","description":"This was pretty good. Just reread and check for errors, like "Without struggles in hardships" in should be and","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"11803325","dateCreated":"1241624003","smartDate":"May 6, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"Shayna_Jenkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Shayna_Jenkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1224158020\/Shayna_Jenkins-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/11803325"},"dateDigested":1532767387,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This story was really personal, so it made it more interesting for the reader. I noticed that in the second to last paragraph, it said, "in an out of jail", rather than "in and out of jail". The other thing I would change is that the word "life" was repeted very often, which disrupted the flow the story.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12141459","body":"I also found that "life" was used a bit too much. To improve the flow of your essay, cut some out.","dateCreated":"1242401400","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]}],"more":false},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}