{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12229139","dateCreated":"1242744954","smartDate":"May 19, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"mmcferran","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mmcferran","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12229139"},"dateDigested":1532767398,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I was new to this chool this year aswell and I understand what you are saying. We all go places for a reason. I like the way you wrote this adn I really appreciated the messages and things you portrayed. Nice Job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12139609","dateCreated":"1242399167","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"etreb","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/etreb","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12139609"},"dateDigested":1532767398,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"
\nPositive: I really liked this story because I can connect to it in many ways because I to have went to many schools. Except, I moved from a bigger school to a smaller school. I also liked how much you added about your own life, which was very exciting.
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\nNegative: I didn't see where this was a "This I Believe" piece but I still found it very interesting still due to your incorperation of your own life. I also thought you could have elaborated more on things, like your feeling at the new school.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12140047","body":"i agree with etreb. i never moved schools before but i left many friends and family when i moved here before school started. i think you should tie in your beliefe with your struggles more. include how you got through those struggles with your beliefe and it will be clearer.","dateCreated":"1242399778","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"DrewGauvain","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/DrewGauvain","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237994231\/DrewGauvain-lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"12139605","dateCreated":"1242399159","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"wihbeyj","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/wihbeyj","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12139605"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"Your story didnt really stick with your topic. Your topic was you go where you go for a reason, but the story really sounded more like it was about having friends. Try relating your story more to your topic and the whole "this i believe" idea","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138803","dateCreated":"1242398273","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"butwills","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/butwills","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138803"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I loved the message of your story! It really helps when something goes wrong to just know that there is some greater reason why that happened, and that in the end it will all be for the better. And you have an amazing story to go with this message! I can\u2019t even imagine begin exposed to so many different environments and different types of people. I would imagine that it helps to get a better idea of the big picture in life.
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\nThere were just a few grammatical and wording things that I found, but over all, amazing story!
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\n\u201chard to join a the class\u201d I\u2019m guessing the a isn\u2019t supposed to be there
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\n\u201cbeing there it got better and better\u201d I think you can get rid of the it
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\n\u201cas an entire class and I loved it\u201d a comma would probably work after class
\nThis sentence is a little awkwardly worded \u201cAlso in this class I met who to this day is still my best friend\u201d maybe you could try something like: \u201cIt was in this class that I met the girl who is, to this day, my best friend\u201d
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\nWhen you\u2019re talking about where you both live, and also later on in the story, you switch back and forth between the past and present tense, which gets a little confusing.
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\nI would suggest reading your story aloud to yourself, because that helps to polish up the wording, and you catch things that you don\u2019t just by reading it.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138791","dateCreated":"1242398254","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"allie4522","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/allie4522","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237993324\/allie4522-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138791"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I liked your story, but I didnt think that you related it enough to your topic. Also there were multipul grammatical errors that distracted me while I was reading.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138691","dateCreated":"1242398155","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"oliviah15","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/oliviah15","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222128529\/oliviah15-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138691"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments ","description":"This was a good point of view. i have moved to different states throughout my life as well because my dad was im the military. However, moving does make you the person you are now. i liked your piece because it was very realistic and i could relate to it a lot","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12474419","body":"i agree with oliviah that moving and having different, difficult experiences come at you in life, makes you who you are today. i have only moved once in my life so i cannot relate, but this is a very common situation amoung people. i liked this story a lot because it showed a deeper connection to someone your age. well done.","dateCreated":"1243521416","smartDate":"May 28, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"tylerjlhs","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/tylerjlhs","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138587","dateCreated":"1242398061","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"desiree377","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/desiree377","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138587"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I loved reading this. You did a great job in connecting what you believed in to your own life. It must have been tough switching schools so many times, I'm not sure I would be able to do that. I think this displayed a very strong message as well. Great job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138441","dateCreated":"1242397941","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"Shayna_Jenkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Shayna_Jenkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1224158020\/Shayna_Jenkins-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138441"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"The message of this story was really good and it was described clearly, so it was not confusing. I would just go through and edit one more time becuase there are some commas and apostrophes missing.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138281","dateCreated":"1242397759","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138281"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comments","description":"you had a really good topic. the way you descibed your feelings about moving so many times came out very clear and i could understand what you were going though by your writing.
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\nyou need a few comma's here and there but other than that good job","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12043853","dateCreated":"1242217994","smartDate":"May 13, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12043853"},"dateDigested":1532767399,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This was a very good story! I loved it. You picked such a great topic to write about and really incoporated your feelings into it, which is not easy to do. It was a very real to me, like the way you wrote, i felt as if i was speaking to you. I really enjoyed it. Great job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":false},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}