{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12139869","dateCreated":"1242399500","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"mmcferran","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mmcferran","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12139869"},"dateDigested":1532767407,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I liked this story. However, a story might make this better. It looks like you have a little space so fill it with a SPECIFIC example where you succeeded and how that taught you what you believe.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12138693","dateCreated":"1242398159","smartDate":"May 15, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"DrewGauvain","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/DrewGauvain","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237994231\/DrewGauvain-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12138693"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"this sounds like what my dad tells me. some people try to have the right attitude in sports but they truly cant have it until they apply it in life. this shows that perfectly. to some, atheletics are just a game. but obviously to you, a devoted athelete, it is a lesson on how to overcome obstivles in life. i completely agree with you.
\nthere were some grammitical errors during the piece. how ever, your point and beliefe was displayed clearly. well written.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"12230437","body":"i loved this story! it was very well written and the message it gave was very powerful. you really showed the reader that when you apply yourself, it can take you places. the right mind set and motivation is all you need to succeed. nice job.","dateCreated":"1242746928","smartDate":"May 19, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"tylerjlhs","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/tylerjlhs","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"12008537","dateCreated":"1242142138","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12008537"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"Very good story! I loved it, to say the least. It was very well-written and was full of description. It was very persuasive and this made your story very powerful to the reader. From reading your story, I can tell that you a very dedicated.
\nConsider revising the last sentence:
\n
\n"Having that drive will give you the persistence and strength you need to excel in anything you so choose, this I believe."
\n
\nIt is a bit choppy to me. You could revise it so it's like:
\n
\n"I believe that having that drive will give you the persistence and strength you need to excel in anything you so choose."
\n
\nor "Having that drive will give you the persistence and strength you need to excel in anything you so choose. This I believe."
\n
\nI think the bottom one is more powerful.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12007151","dateCreated":"1242140814","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"wihbeyj","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/wihbeyj","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12007151"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"Dude you are dedicated. Thats all I can say. I could relate to that essay and know how you feel. I liked how you talked about physical ability, but related it to mental ability as being not as necessary. You had a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes but other than that, it was really good.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12007059","dateCreated":"1242140702","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"oliviah15","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/oliviah15","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222128529\/oliviah15-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12007059"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I really liek this story. it was well written and had a great message. I agreed with everythign you said. i would not change anyhting","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12006649","dateCreated":"1242140224","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"Shayna_Jenkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Shayna_Jenkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1224158020\/Shayna_Jenkins-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12006649"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This story really conveyed how passionate you are about swimming, which engaged the reader. But, I did find the last sentence very awkward, so I would put the "this I believe" at the beginning of the sentence.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12006597","dateCreated":"1242140167","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12006597"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"this peice was so good. i was actually persauded throughout it to believe in myself more. the words you used to describe things fit perfectly. and the whole thing flowed really well. really good job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"12005577","dateCreated":"1242139215","smartDate":"May 12, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"desiree377","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/desiree377","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/12005577"},"dateDigested":1532767408,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This was well written and the discription was great. I liked how it was something so close to you that made you believe in what you believe. Other then a few spelling mistakes, this was well written.
\n
\nWith everything you do there is always that an obstacle that you must overcome.
\n
\nDid you mean 'one' when you said 'an'?
\n
\nWell done, good job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":false},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}