{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"10792244","dateCreated":"1238683978","smartDate":"Apr 2, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10792244"},"dateDigested":1532767441,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This was a very creative story. The story was intense and full of action, which I personally enjoyed.
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\nI think you could have described the protaginists and the "monster's" feelings a little more so the reader can understand them better.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10791868","dateCreated":"1238683754","smartDate":"Apr 2, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"katieob","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/katieob","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10791868"},"dateDigested":1532767441,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"ghost story 11","description":"Creepy, very creepy. I loved the ending, especially the part in which the creature is smiling at the protagonist.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10707780","dateCreated":"1238513595","smartDate":"Mar 31, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"xChangetheStars","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/xChangetheStars","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10707780"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"Chilling! This story is unique and held my attention throughout. I really enjoyed it. It leaves you wondering why the monster would save this woman for last, and maybe you could add in one little hint regarding this. Even just one sentence, a subtle clue. Perhaps also add something to explain why everyone is killing themselves, unless it is simply their knowledge of the presence of the monster or the effects his presence has upon them. Good use of vocabulary and the setting works perfectly for the story.
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\n\u201crushes to kill themselves\u201d \u2013I think it should be \u201crush\u201d here, but I could be wrong.
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\nGreat story :)","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10706850","dateCreated":"1238512312","smartDate":"Mar 31, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dsk23","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dsk23","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10706850"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"
\nThis story was gruesome, but worked. It reminded me of the movie, Nightmare on Elm Street. The setting, darkness of the night, mutated figure, was all very easy to imagine. I liked the haunting psychological aspect of the story. I liked how even though you didn\u2019t describe the setting that much, I could still picture it perfectly. The ambiguity and darkness adds to the mystery of what is going on.
\nI would revise a couple sentences to improve the clarity and flow. Other than that nice job.
\nFor example, \u201cThe monster cracks what I think is a smile; I see the glow of its yellowish teeth.\u201d You could change \u201cwhat I think is a smile\u201d to \u201cwhat appears to be a smile.\u201d","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10667492","dateCreated":"1238430125","smartDate":"Mar 30, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"claire2849","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/claire2849","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10667492"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"This was a pretty disturbing story...but I guess that makes for a good horror story. You wrote the story very well, and I like the level of intensity you sustained throughout the entire piece.
\nI do agree with Shayna that the description of person after person killing themselves is a little vague, but other than that this is a very well done story.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606478","dateCreated":"1238168095","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"mmcferran","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mmcferran","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606478"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"great descprition and very very creepy. It was an ideal ghost story! Good Job!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606098","dateCreated":"1238167510","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"Shayna_Jenkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Shayna_Jenkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1224158020\/Shayna_Jenkins-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606098"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"The setting was really well described, so I could clearly picture the earie scenery. It also had a definite tone, which made it scary. When it says: "Person after person repeatedly rushes to kill themselves", it does not keep the reader interested. I would suggest better describing all the deaths, so that the reader anticipates that of the main character.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606086","dateCreated":"1238167477","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"oliviah15","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/oliviah15","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222128529\/oliviah15-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606086"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"ghost story 11","description":"THis is extremely freaky. It was very origninal and i couldnt believe it. the whole killing itself was terrifying. I really enjoyed it and would not change much. Maybe just read through it and make sure grammar is correct.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606032","dateCreated":"1238167367","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"etreb","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/etreb","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606032"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"
\nPositive: I really like the description at the beginning of the story. I thought you presented us with the beginning very well. I really got a vision in my mind when I first started reading, very good.
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\nNegative: I was quite confused throughtout the entire piece. I did not know the source of the heat and the creature was vaguely described. You only had about 550 words and I think you could use the 200 more to spice up the store and at to the beginning. As well as draw out some of the conflicts between the demon.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606034","dateCreated":"1238167367","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606034"},"dateDigested":1532767442,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"this is a freaky story but really good. the description of thing was so clear i would like perfectly picture him. i think describing his voice would add more drama. when you say He, no It. i got confused so you might want to change that sentence to something like He...no, It instead. it makes it clearer that you saying its not a he, its a It. her hottness is a little confusing too. so maybe you could say like something was causing her to get so overheated. and you used kill themselves alot. maybe like end their suffering or commit suidice would be a good replacement for it
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\nbut for a really short story it was so intense and kept me intrested","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}