{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"10791674","dateCreated":"1238683633","smartDate":"Apr 2, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"katieob","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/katieob","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10791674"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"ghost story 10","description":"Your story was full of suspense. The chant in the beginning led the reader to know that this story was going to contain some sort of creepiness. You definitely accomplished the creepiness well. The story was great!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10791568","dateCreated":"1238683574","smartDate":"Apr 2, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10791568"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I really enjoyed this story. It was very creepy and that drew me in from the start. You left the reader with knowledge of a mystery that the police in the story cannot discover. This story may haunt me for a while.
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\nPersonally, I would have liked an ending in which more details on the deaths of the family and Sarah's friends were expressed. There were also some grammatical errors within your story that should be fixed.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10732194","dateCreated":"1238551207","smartDate":"Mar 31, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"fidan1993","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/fidan1993","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1235147613\/fidan1993-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10732194"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"different, i liked it :]
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\ni also liked how the spell rhymed, since typically they do, made it seem realistic,
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\ni also enjoyed the end, and how it was short and worked for the story
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\nmaybe a little more details needed","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10707430","dateCreated":"1238513112","smartDate":"Mar 31, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"xChangetheStars","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/xChangetheStars","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10707430"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"Very interesting story, it definitely held my attention throughout. The idea of ending it with a more objective, external perspective is quite effective, and I think you could have gone a little further with it. I really like your story.
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\n-\u201cThe five friends sat in a circle around an arrangement of tranquil scented candles and incents.\u201d\u2014spelling of incents should be \u201cincense\u201d
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\n -\u201cThey immediately felt the temperature in the room drop greatly and a strong feeling of spirits being present.\u201d \u2013this sentence is slightly awkward, maybe restructure it; especially the last part.
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\n-\u201chow old he is\u201d \u2013\u201cwas\u201d instead of \u201cis\u201d\u2026or you could say \u201cNext, Sarah asked Eric his age\u201d
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\n:)
\n-\u201cThey knew they were wrong to summon an evil spirit and now they have to suffer the consequences.\u201d \u2013Verb tense change here\u2014you could say \u201cnow they would have to\u201d","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10667246","dateCreated":"1238429704","smartDate":"Mar 30, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"claire2849","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/claire2849","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10667246"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I like this story alot. It's really creepy...I've played Ouija a few times but I won't for a while now...
\nI think you created a great effect in such a short story, and the short length works very well for the story.
\nOne suggestion I have is only about the presentation of dialogue. You should probably make each piece of dialogue have a separate line instead of just being embedded in the text. It looks more professional that way.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606510","dateCreated":"1238168120","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dsk23","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dsk23","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606510"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"Love the story, it is relatable and is easily imagined! I would add more details surronding the scenes of the girls actually using the board. Since when you use a board, everything happens really slow and drawn out, do that when you describe them. It might add a more involved tone as well as depth. I would also consider revising the ending to make it more mysterious and haunting instead of directly stating what happens.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10605944","dateCreated":"1238167233","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"Shayna_Jenkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Shayna_Jenkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1224158020\/Shayna_Jenkins-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10605944"},"dateDigested":1532767444,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This was a really scary story, the scariest so far. I really like how you created your own poem. Using a ouji board was a really good idea. Some of the word choice seemed a little off, or took away from the scariness of the story. For example: when you called the ouiji board an "eerie board game", I'm not sure if board game is the right term because it just makes it sound juvenile. Also, the ending was really well put together, and didn't seemed rushed.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"10606502","body":"The author actually got this incantation from a web site.","dateCreated":"1238168108","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"mcgoldrickj","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mcgoldrickj","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1256220354\/mcgoldrickj-lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"10605940","dateCreated":"1238167229","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"oliviah15","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/oliviah15","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222128529\/oliviah15-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10605940"},"dateDigested":1532767445,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"ghost story 9","description":"THis story was very creepy. This is the type of story that will haunt me for a while. THe only part i would fix would be the last paragraph about how they all died and couldnt escape. It didnt seem to flow with the story so i would fix it up or maybe begin with a newspaper article about it.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10605824","dateCreated":"1238167017","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"allie4522","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/allie4522","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237993324\/allie4522-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10605824"},"dateDigested":1532767445,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comments","description":"This story was really good. It was short, but it worked. You discribed the ouji board perfectly. It all went together really well, but some parts were a bit rushed, like all the questions they were asking eric. Maybe elaberate on them alittle to make the story a bit longer.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10605794","dateCreated":"1238166979","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10605794"},"dateDigested":1532767445,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"for a really short story this was really good. all the details about the ouiji board were really discriptive. although i felt the last paragraph was a little dragged on. other than that it was really good!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}