{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"10731310","dateCreated":"1238549798","smartDate":"Mar 31, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"fidan1993","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/fidan1993","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1235147613\/fidan1993-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10731310"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I liked how your story had ghosts, and also how the girls name was Autumn, also i liked the dialogue.
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\nIt could have been a little longer but overall pretty sweet :]","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10606364","dateCreated":"1238167923","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"xChangetheStars","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/xChangetheStars","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10606364"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"I really enjoyed your story and the magical elements within it. It was quite sweet by the end, but I think the ending was a little abrupt. You might want to adjust the ending slightly so that it is more understandable as to he motives and such behind the characters\u2019 actions--Particularly those of Patrick. If you were to add to the conclusion\/resolution you could omit a couple of the details that don\u2019t make so much of a difference in the story\u2019s plotline (for instance, her college). Overall, I think the story was well-written. It held my attention and interest. :)
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\n\u201cThe next day sought\u201d \u2013did you mean to put a \u201cshe\u201d between the \u201cday\u201d and \u201csought\u201d
\n:)","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10604196","dateCreated":"1238165171","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dsk23","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dsk23","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10604196"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I like how the reader can interpert the ending in different ways. Most people see the ending as happy, but I find that it has a more creepy and haunting aspect to it...Patrick warned Autumn that the ghosts will eventually cause her death if she doesn't get rid of them and its ironic that he sticks with her until they can "be together again." I don't know which way you intended it to end but I enjoyed that aspect of the story.
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\nTo maybe expand on thier relationship more or be more descriptive about other ghosts, you coult revise the introduction a bit. The events surronding the reason for Autumm's blindness is not entireley necessary, so you could cut a little of that out to make room for other details. Good job and orginal idea!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10603444","dateCreated":"1238164466","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"colangeloc","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/colangeloc","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1238686036\/colangeloc-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10603444"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Ghost Story 4","description":"this is a good story, i liked the beginning, i felt very intriged and like i was there with her. towards the end seems almost rushed. you could make the ending a little bit more creepy to keep your reader interested","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10603182","dateCreated":"1238164217","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10603182"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comment","description":"I really like how you turned a ghost story from being something creepy to a love story. It does seem rushed in the end though. I think if you added Patrick to the begining it would help. Instead of saying after the first ghosts visits her about helping the other ones, you could just use that one as an example and before it say how the ghosts were coming to her for help. but i thought it was a really good story!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10586132","dateCreated":"1238111165","smartDate":"Mar 26, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"claire2849","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/claire2849","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10586132"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"I like the concept of this story, but I think the way it is laid out makes it hard to get into. I understand that the word limit is constricting, but I feel that this story is too compact. It spans alot of time, explaining her blindness and all of the ghosts, and I think the plot would be stronger if you limited the plot to just one or two of the major events you created here. Maybe, for example, you could only describe her accident and blindness and the first ghost. Doing this would create more of a climax in the plot and shorten the content, allowing you to elaborate with more details and description. I really do like the idea of a blind girl seeing ghosts, though.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10518524","dateCreated":"1237995027","smartDate":"Mar 25, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"kaygeo","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/kaygeo","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10518524"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"This was a very interesting story. I liked the idea of the plot and think it worked relitively well, but feel that it was very rushed. I wanted to know more about Autumn and the accident in which made her blind. I don't know exactly how many words you have and because the story is limited to 750, I'm not sure how to improve the story to not be rushed. Maybe you could take out some of the smaller details, or things that do not come back in the story at the end to make more room to add to the ending and clear up any questions the reader may have. Also, there were some grammatical\/spelling errors that should be fixed for easier reading.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10517980","dateCreated":"1237994540","smartDate":"Mar 25, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"LDion","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/LDion","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1237476747\/LDion-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10517980"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Comments","description":"I liked the concept of this story but i think the plot was too involved for this word limit.
\nI wanted to know more all throughoout the story and i think that the idea of this has great potential but it would take a lot more than 750 words to make it work well.
\nI was completely intruiged though, i wanted to know more about autumn, and the 'witch' and the ghosts and patrick and what autumn did to get rid of the curse. i just think that this story is a bit too involved for something that needed to be this short.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"10517600","dateCreated":"1237994129","smartDate":"Mar 25, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"mmcferran","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/mmcferran","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10517600"},"dateDigested":1532767459,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"comment","description":"The last part doesn't make sense. If there was a spell to reverse the blindness why didn't she do that earlier. Other than that is was very good. The meaning was clear and the plot was good.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"10603226","body":"i think the point of her not reversing the spell was if she did she wouldnt be able to be with patrick","dateCreated":"1238164265","smartDate":"Mar 27, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"dimariad","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/dimariad","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"10516904","dateCreated":"1237993481","smartDate":"Mar 25, 2009","userCreated":{"username":"oliviah15","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/oliviah15","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1222128529\/oliviah15-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/sem2creativewriting.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/10516904"},"dateDigested":1532767460,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"ghost story 4","description":"This had a very interesting thought. It was not like most stories which made it unigue. Make sure to watch for grammar punctation and that you keep parallel structure, for instance "She was seven years old and riding her bike when she fell and tumbled down a steep rocky hill." sounds funny and needs to be corrected.
\nAlso, the story was a bit cliche and did not have as much description, so maybe ty fixing that.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}